marijuana

i don't think i've ever actually referred to it as that. most likely just weed or some codename. but anyways i will no longer be partaking in smoking weed [i never have/will smoke anything else either]. i've spent the last month or so debating on letting it go and today i decided it's time to cut those strings. there are a couple of different reasons why and if you're interested in knowing why i'll explain that as you keep reading. now i wanna say that within the last 4 months i became what some would consider a serious smoker. i got a medical card and my whole life changed lol. don't get me wrong tho. i don't regret smoking. i don't have anything against it per se. or anybody who chooses to smoke weed. i can't really f*ck with the concept of smoking cigarettes but i dont really have much to say about that. to each their own. it was actually a great experience. i made a lot of new friends smoking. scavengers who just wanted in on my hook up [medical card]. heavy smokers [fellow medical card holders or avid weed smokers]. and weed experts [knowledge of any and all things weed related]. it was a good time all around and i hope the friendships ive built through means of smoking won't vanish [but time will tell]. for me though, giving up weed fell more into my 2010 mindset.

i would like to be more successful in the things i do and the goals i aspire to accomplish and while i can dream big and plan out my road to success, i feel like i'm lacking discipline. whether it be working out or studying or practicing the guitar. i let many excuses keep me from focusing on whatever skill/task i was supposed to be working towards. i don't wanna let that happen anymore. i want to be able to develop a level of discipline that will help me effectively and efficiently reach my goals. im about to be 23 and i wanna accomplish some sh*t in my lifetime so i really don't want to waste any more time bullsh*ttin. i figured picking up a martial art would be a perfect way to help develop this discipline. and i would add onto that by picking up other physical activities to help focus on the discipline of working out and learning something like the values and morals involved in learning a martial art. so anyways, i feel like im rambling now. long story short today i went to a boxing class by way of a good buddy of mine [who i met through smoking] and i loved that sh*t. i already have a hidden passion for working out. i'm addicted to the results [and also the pain after. no pain, no gain lol] i just give into my laziness more often than none. but to me today was just a teaser of what i'm in for in this arriving year of 2010. [oh yea, ive also been playing basketball more and i wanna learn how to play soccer realli good] so with all this working out and training and practice and physical activity i plan on getting in, i figure weed will be unnecessary. now i know many make the argument that smoking weed before working out will increase the results or some bullsh*t but i argue that i shouldn't have to trick my mind or body into doing that. i figure the discipline of focusing on the actual workouts will be more beneficial to my mind, body & soul in the end versus tricking my mind into working out for the wrong reasons. i want to train my mind to want/enjoy working out. [does that make sense?] also the actual act of smoking was never really something i enjoyed. the whole inhaling/exhaling thing never felt comfortable [slash i didnt want it to become comfortable, if that makes any sense to you]. the coughing slash d*mn near dying from inhaling too hard or whatever. and also there would be this feeling in my throat i would get when i would have huge sessions that just felt like years and years of that would leave me with a hole in my neck. and ima be real with yall. i don't want that sh*t at all. so yea, most weed smokers claim their not addicted, and they can stop when they want if they want and i can tell you from being on the inside. that's a lie. weed does become an addiction for some if not most no matter how mild it may be. many smoke to ignore life's issues. some smoke because they enjoy feeling the bond made between fellow smokers. [and i completely understand that. majority of smokers understand each other on a deeper level...or at least the weed makes you think so.] some smoke because they feel it makes them focus better on a task or enjoy life more. makes food better. makes sex better. good sleep. whatever excuses there may be for smoking weed, i feel like there is a healthier, drug-free substitute for all of that. [sidenote: as much as i enjoy the company of a girl who smokes, the smokers cough has always been one of the most attractive things ever and if you smoke on any kind of regular basis, that is inevitable.] well now that i've ramble on forever, i hope whoever takes the time to read this understands where i'm coming from. hopefully it'll change a life or two. if not, i definitely hold no harsh feelings or pass any judgment on those who continue to smoke. it's honestly just a personal decision that i feel will work out in my favor. so please don't be offended when i decline or step away from a session. it's just not my thing anymore. :)